Choosing To See A Thousand Things

I finished the first book on my Spring Reading Thing list: Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope by Mary Beth Chapman.

Although it was truly a heart wrenching book to read, it was also so beautiful. Interesting combination, don't you think? Let me explain...

Mary Beth is completely honest about the awfulness of losing her little girl, about the pain and the doubt, the suffering and the trials. But through it all, hope triumphs. It was a book that despite making me cry through many of its pages still caused gratitude and joyfulness in my heart for the hope we have in Jesus! Mary Beth makes no qualms about the struggles she continues to face, living life without little Maria but constantly points back to God - that He is in control, that He has a plan even if its hard to understand this side of heaven and that through the work Jesus accomplished in His death and resurrection, they can be certain of the fact that they will see Maria again.

Just listen to this quote:

"It might on certain days be buried deep down in my heart and have a hard time computing to my brain, but here is what I know and what I choose to believe, over and over again. I know God loves me and my family. I know God is sovereign and He knows what is best for us. I know He has our days numbered and makes no mistakes. I know that He will bring beauty from ashes ... that is what I cling to in order to make it through another twenty-four hours."
-Mary Beth Chapman, "Choosing To See"

I am humbled, blown away by this whole story. There were moments where I laughed, many more where I cried. These people are human not some super spiritual family. But the God we serve is faithful. And so, despite how tragic this story is, it still has led my heart to praise my God! If you know Him, you can be certain of the fact that the suffering and pain you face in this life is not without meaning and purpose! There is HOPE! 

Upon finishing this book, I came across a new singer/songwriter who I instantly fell in love with: Christa Wells. One song in particular grabbed my attention, A Thousand Things. "Choosing To See" was still fresh in my mind so of course I related the truth of this song instantly to the Chapmans. But really, it is a wonderfull reminder to all of us who face trials and suffering of any kind. Be encouraged : A thousand things are happening in this one thing.

A Thousand Things
You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
Your’re gonna soak the pillow
for many weeks
You’re gonna cry
Why me?
But in spite of the ache
that doesn’t go away
You’ll be sharing your story
one rainy day
And at the next table somebody catches your words
He hear’s a truth that he’s never heard
He takes it back to the marriage he’d given up on
Hands it down to his daughter
who writes it into song
You didn’t know
A thousand things are happening in this one thing
Like a thousand fields nourished by a single drop of rain
So honey, wrap yourself in promise
while you wait the morning light
A thousand things are happening tonight
You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
‘cause for the moment all that you can see
Is what you’ve lost , lost
Why me?
But in the midst of the most exquisite pain
you’re drawn into a peace that You cannot explain
and the praises you sing of a sovereign God
reach the girl whose last hope is gone
she never thought there was purpose in anything here
now the seed has been planted and it’s taking root there
You didn’t know
A thousand things are happening tonight
You’re gonna cry yourself to sleep
A thousand miracles you’ll have to wait and see

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I love motherhood.

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I'm a covenant keeper.

I love my husband.

I am above self pity.

I am a nation builder.


Worth more than rubies.

“I am more convinced than ever that even in the midst of the mundane, burdensome, and oftentimes frustrating tasks of life allotted to me as a mother, God wants me to find his joy. He wants every single day of my life to be a celebration of his blessings, whether large or small. He wants me to celebrate life ~ the life He has given me.”

~ Sally Clarkson

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